This isn’t going to be easy. Really, what would a psychotic trainer with access to super-science technology do next?
Down and Out
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By Gianluca Burdon Thu Oct 27th 2016 at 11:50 pm
That’s just sad
By wilder125 Fri Oct 28th 2016 at 1:57 pm
To be fair. I weigh 175, but I’m having pain issues. I can do 15 then I have to lay flat and moan. I had the same issue in high school when I could run a mile on the track without wheezing then have to lay in the grass for 2 minutes in pain.
By Otaku Fri Oct 28th 2016 at 7:38 pm
In more than one way. I am in worse shape than that henchman, and I’ve had several (failed) attempts at losing the weight and keeping it off. It may be sad the hench can’t do a push up, but unless he’s also superhuman, it is totally realistic. He doesn’t just have more weight to lift, but it is centered on his lower back and he’s got less clearance space even when he’s all the way up off the ground. The workout needs to start slow, practically lulling our chubby friend into a sense of security… which is shattered as Meat forces a healthy, strict diet on the guy. Most weight loss comes from adjusting your diet. Now, once the henchman has enough weight off of him that he can actually do the exercises, and without blowing out his knees, then Meat can go all “biggest loser coach” on him and actually expect results. Might be less funny for us, though. XD
By 7eggert Fri Oct 28th 2016 at 8:49 pm
You tried that, so it obviously doesn’t work *for*you*. Saying “change diet” is simple and short. Doing it not so much.
There are many other strategies, e.g. you can leave out one “bad” thing at a time, add other “good” things until you have a different diet. Or you could make sports or build muscles. (These are just random examples.)
Or maybe you need to change something completely different. Leave your situation, leave negative people – also easier said than done.
Why is that henchman fat? Look at why he eats: It’s making him happy. That’s what he needs. (Gut bacteria will actually produce drugs to make you happy – or sad.) If you only take away food, if you torture him with sports, everything will be undone. Make him feel endorphins, completely change the diet so the greedy gut bacteria die (and be replaced), make him experience success, teach him a strategy to be successful and happy, then he may lose weight. If not, change diagnosis, try something else.
By Otaku Sat Oct 29th 2016 at 4:35 pm
With regard to my own personal situation, there are additional health issues that complicate eating a healthy diet and getting even moderate exercise. However the biggest thing is me, and while it is important to recognize where bad behaviors are reinforced by the physiological, it doesn’t excuse my mistakes. This is however missing my point; if what Meat is doing works, then our portly henchman ends up being pretty exceptional. Carrying excess weight is hard on the body, and notable to discussing him suddenly performing many typical exercises, it will be very, very hard on his joints. If Meat is monitoring all of this… cool.
By 7eggert Sun Oct 30th 2016 at 9:17 pm
You can’t stop making “mistakes” if you don’t know why you do them. Most of the things “you” do are done by a semi-programmable wet robot. You need a way to re-program that robot _correctly_. Just randomly changing things may or may not help, knowing about possible strategies increases the chance. Changing the one thing again that reliably doesn’t help you will not help you, but people keep suggesting just that one thing. I watch people, they just insist on being unhelpfully stupid even if they have just read a book on “how to be smart”.
I have health issues, too, so I know it’s not easy. You can’t just make sports instead of eating, and if you’re eating to not be depressed (which doesn’t apply to me), you can’t take the bad feelings your grumbling empty stomach will generate (remember the bacteria).
Also you need to have energy to change your life. My pain does take away the energy, so I barely manage to not gain weight after giving up sports. Meat can be a great help with that, but he’s just hammering the robot. The henchman will be exceptional, but unless it’s put to a use, the old habits will be right back at the next opportunity.
By Random Guy Fri Oct 28th 2016 at 2:23 am
Transfusion of Joey’s blood to make a mutant henchman?
By Gianluca Burdon Fri Oct 28th 2016 at 2:33 am
That’s pretty much along the lines of what I said last page
By Random Guy Sat Oct 29th 2016 at 11:25 pm
Good for you!
By disaster Fri Oct 28th 2016 at 2:50 am
i guess it makes sense to be so pale if you wear a fullbody suit the whole time
By Anarchyant Fri Oct 28th 2016 at 2:01 pm
Meat should be thankful that the hench has his mask on or he would be cleaning vomit off his shoes after push up one.
By MechianRed Sat Oct 29th 2016 at 7:56 am
Try planking for awhile first. And Australian pull-ups. And running… lots and lots of running.
By Random Interloper Sat Oct 29th 2016 at 7:32 pm
I think we might want to start a little slower. Maybe a nice long walk down the beach. Promise some ice cream at the end of it.
(Don’t point out that ‘the end’ is ‘Once you’ve done a lap around the continent.’)
By Venalitor Sun Oct 30th 2016 at 7:37 pm
At that weight running would kill his knees in pretty short order. Though as he is a henchman I would expect that his only major health problem is his weight, and those muscles must be entirely for show ’cause they aren’t lifting what they should.
By maggPi Wed Jan 25th 2017 at 10:11 am
Something that may help anyone reading the archives re: weight loss…
Years ago, my spouse (at the time) was referred to a dietitian by our G.P. to lose weight so as to avoid the risk of a heart attack. One of the most effective things she prescribed was to cut out sugary drinks, including juice.
Especially juice.
The only thing my spouse was allowed to drink was water. The effects were dramatic. Too bad the exercise portion of the regime was ignored. I’m not into sports, but my spouse didn’t even want to ride a bike.
Talk to a dietitian as well as your doctor. Your doctor should be able to refer you to said dietitian. Figure out a regime of diet and exercise that works for your body type. Stick to it and adapt it as your needs adapt.
Good luck!