“Hen”chman
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By Rigor Mon Sep 11th 2017 at 2:38 am
Yeah but they found him a uniform that fits.
By Bracey Mon Sep 11th 2017 at 3:26 am
When youre part of an evil organization, you gotta look the part, no matter what.
By Hinoron Tue Mar 12th 2019 at 10:48 am
Actually, if you recall, there’s a sub-department of the “Whitecoat” devision that sews the uniforms, which grants them an opportunity to spray them with a special pheromone that compels hostiles to “shoot the Red-shirts first”.
So one imagines the chicken uniform was custom made (hopefully with a pheromone that suggests “This one is not for dinner.”)
By Iron Ed Mon Sep 11th 2017 at 3:28 am
Just how hot is that core? I could go for some baked chicken about now…
By Bracey Mon Sep 11th 2017 at 3:35 am
If ANYBODY ever had a good reason for workers comp, its that guy.
By wright1 Mon Sep 11th 2017 at 6:25 pm
Nah, I can easily see some insurance bureaucrat saying, “Both the claimant’s original body and the body he currently occupies are physically unharmed and not currently in danger.” Then they stamp the claim “denied”, move it into their Out box and go on to the next one…
By Bracey Mon Sep 11th 2017 at 7:45 pm
OMG! You are SO freaking right!
By Siva Mon Sep 11th 2017 at 6:27 am
His crony is egg-ast at the circumstances. Possibly considering a coup.
By Morosoph Mon Sep 11th 2017 at 1:09 pm
They’ll chicken out before it gets that far
By Poetically Psychotic Fri Jan 19th 2018 at 12:56 pm
These puns are almost fowl.
By saurotitan Mon Sep 11th 2017 at 5:08 pm
Truthfully, that is the most menacing a chicken has ever been
By wright1 Mon Sep 11th 2017 at 6:19 pm
Ever been chased by a rooster with an attitude? Trust me, they can tap into their raptor roots under the right circumstances.
By Random Guy Thu Sep 14th 2017 at 4:52 pm
I watched three leghorn roosters kill a raccoon.
By wright1 Thu Sep 14th 2017 at 5:19 pm
Yeah, an enraged rooster isn’t a joke. Cockfighting has been around for at least as long as we’ve had domesticated chickens, after all.
By winger Tue Sep 12th 2017 at 2:19 am
i have so seen way worse chickens
By winger Tue Sep 12th 2017 at 5:12 am
you know one thing i wonder sort of “alighnment” claw and meat would be (http://easydamus.com/alignment.html)
i would say claw mix between lawful evil and neutral evil. i saw lawful since he was the one to pretty much make the super villain code of conduct and has never really seemed to be a murder. sure he could kill those who harm his family but he’s a dad. and he has a moral code like with the toys he could not in good conscience destroy the charity toys he hated. till he bought them but then the money still went to charity sooooo. but he is pron to just petty vengeance like after the marriage counseling or “the future” arc were he was all for literally kicking the fake leader in the crotch while he was down
By winger Tue Sep 12th 2017 at 5:17 am
meat hmm a bit of pure neutral to neutral evil.
he like beating people up but so far i don’t think he has killed any one (we dont know if the jet pack guy died and was kind of self defense since they did attack the base first kidnap his boss and he did not use deadly force while they did). he seems to at least care to the point of as few minion deaths as he can. and with the vacation he went for a diplomatic path for the assassin with how skilled a fighter he is could have likely beaten it out of them but went with a much nicer path
By wright1 Wed Sep 13th 2017 at 7:11 pm
Interesting, and I think you bring up a good point about why Claw and Meat get along so well: they both have similar ethics. One way to sum it up might be, “Stay out of my way and we’ll have no problem, but mess with me or mine and the brakes are coming OFF.”
I’d probably peg them in the classic D&D alignment grid where you did: Claw as Lawful Evil with Neutral tendencies and Meat as Neutral Evil tending towards True Neutral.
By Katrina Thu Sep 14th 2017 at 6:51 am
Indeed.
I enjoyed confusing a GM a while back by paying a Chaotic Evil Rogue. And taking care of orphans and actually making sure they learned to survive. I roleplayed trying to teach them to get real jobs and not resort to thievery. When he asked me why I was chaotic evil, I replied. “I’m not evil because of what I do. I am evil because of what I’m willing to do and not lose sleep over.”
And then he had to have someone try to mess with one of my kids…
By Tathic Thu Sep 14th 2017 at 11:32 am
Messing with your GM on purpose is the definition of Evil.
I had a lot of fun though doing something similar with a Lawful-Good Paladin.
By wright1 Thu Sep 14th 2017 at 5:24 pm
As another tabletop RPGer, I applaud that bit of roleplaying. And if I’d been your GM and you gave me a handle for your character like that, I wouldn’t have hesitated to grab it either. Hopefully everyone in the game was entertained by the ensuing gory hijinks!
By Katrina Fri Sep 15th 2017 at 1:47 am
No Gore,but he was the last person in his family to die. I went for the more horrifying terror of leaving a note in his wife’s blood that I wasn’t done, but leaving him to wonder who it would be next. I also horrified the gm by describing the way I carefully killed the wife who was sleeping next to the guy and left him alive to wake up to the sight.