8 comments (leave a comment)
Well, they can’t all be sweet, and we haven’t seen the Family Guard in awhile, right?
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Mon Feb 8th 2016 at 4:25 am
It may not be “sweet” but I am guessing most of us will easily relate. 😉 Heh… maybe some Family Guard needs the body control device from the fan strips: get in shape whether you want to or not. XD
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By Disloyal Subject
Mon Feb 8th 2016 at 5:21 am
Honestly, I’ve got zero sympathy for the guy. Not patrolling is justifiable, considering that there might still be a deathtrap or two left over from the first arc, but not patrolling because the route is too long robs him of the elementary exercise that’d make time in the gym less miserable.
Mon Feb 8th 2016 at 4:18 pm
Understanding why someone does something is not the same as excusing or even tolerating it. I debated mentioning that it was pretty bad that he was skipping his patrol, but I had forgotten that there might still be deathtraps. Note that he isn’t avoiding the gym because he hates exercise, but rather because he didn’t know it was there. The patrol being “too long” doesn’t mean it was too long of a walk… just that it took too long and probably seemed pointless. Not saying it is pointless (we’ve read enough stories to know that someone or something always eventually sneaks into a supervillain’s lair), but that someone foolishly concluding it was is probably only apparent to those of us on the outside looking in. Well, and the really competent people in the setting. 😉
Mon Feb 8th 2016 at 7:01 am
Ladies and gentlemen, let’s start taking some bets on how this one turns out! I’ve taken the liberty of looking at a few alternate timelines, so here’s an unofficial preview of how things might go:
1. He turns to the science team for help and ends up with some kind of horrifying fat-based superpower.
2. He turns to Kaley for help. She builds an over-enthusiastic personal trainer robot. End result – he spends more time running for his life than he does training. It works anyways, since running from mortal peril is pretty good cardio.
3. He deliberately avoids turning to Meat for help, but Meat decides to help him anyways. The fitness program works, but now he needs therapy. Aaaaand maybe a replacement spleen.
4. Blood. So much blood. Oh god why.
5. With the help of the other Family Guard members, he pulls it off, learning a valuable lesson in hard work, determination, and friendship. Just kidding! We’re not sure what went wrong in this timeline, but it involves dinosaurs, chainsaws, and a miniature black hole.
6. After trying to get him fit for weeks, everybody gives up. They eventually just remove his brain and implant it in a combat cyborg. He somehow makes the cyborg get fat.
Mon Feb 8th 2016 at 11:14 am
I think it’s more logic for the story to have him keep being a family guard, since 1 and 6 would basically turn him into a super they seem unlikely. 5 whould likely take an arc on it’s own and we’re alredy in the middle of a storyline… or maybe it happen offscreen and become a noodle incident. I’m not sure what 4 implies…
I’ll bet on 2 and 3 they seem to be the most likely.
Mon Feb 8th 2016 at 1:36 pm
More likely they just give him the ultimatum, get combat ready or find employment elsewhere.
By Towering Barbarian
Wed Feb 10th 2016 at 2:55 am
Poor physical fitness alone might be worked off but I suspect his attitude towards patrols if he doesn’t shape up might win him a place alongside Shredhead when the action begins. >_>
Thu Feb 18th 2016 at 3:11 am
It seems to me that slacking off for the Claw would be more than a bad career move, but a negative life choice. As in you’re saying ‘no’ to living.
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